Pretty Thunder

Her Oblivion

There
see her
shallow breath

sternum contracted
she makes small movements
careful not to breath 

small smaller 

never perfect enough
tethered  to a leash

she tries to heel

having grown dog arms

she lives without love 

shadows move easily

within her like a song
see her crown of razor blades
her robe of mirrors

dry heaving on the bathroom floor
a sanctuary really
she is tracing the lines
on the tile’s grout
tiny roads to the River Styx
to Devil's Gulch and the Maurice Cemetery 

she hears things now
and pretends she's a widow
the ghost pine behind the house 

are her sisters 

beckoning her at night

he's hollering again

about how she ruins things 

she mumbles under her breath

cussing him in her languages
he calls her mad
sometimes she believes him
and keeps various powders

hidden in a compact, lines up the Xanax 

along her inseam, tucks them behind her ear

tiptoeing through the formal garden

chugging the vodka

dreaming of oblivion

she lives in the 4th sky

followed by birds
and knows how true monsters

despise what they love 

- Jolaoso Prettythunder

Thai Tea

I give thanks and praises as I brew the tea—

tea leaves and spices from distant lands

their journey long, their origins far

How fortunate we are to hold such gifts

how blessed I am to prepare this warmth

for the ones who fill this house with love

I never curse the dirty dishes

the endless rhythm of cooking and cleaning.

For there are those who would give anything

anything at all, to hear laughter echo again

to feel the weight of a shared meal

to set a table for more than one

It is always sudden, even when planned—

the silence that settles like dust

The kettle boils for no one but you now

a lone cup sits idle on the counter

And the kitchen, once alive with purpose

becomes a quiet place of learning:

how to cook for one, how to live alone

The tea is bittersweet as it cools in my hands.

~ Pretty Thunder

Vigil 2

where

i seek a vanishing

to be pure essence Where i have no name No memories

more than exile

i seek oblivion

a nightjar lives in a starred sky

a nightjar lives in twilight

make the appropriate offerings

resin. vine. your hands. reaching. be my perfume.

i am a violet at the crest of spring Waning Turning into a traveling song Turning into paper under the sun This is delirium This is grief and longing This is a grocery list and a forced march through arduous terrain This is already tomorrow Dragging the mezcal bottle from room to room

votif rain

votif flame

votif petals on your palms

you are the rose